Cultural Diorama

So someday I'll actually write a "real" blog post about my life and current events or whatnot. But today I'm going to "cheat" at blogging by (once again) using my blog as a medium to post a school assignment.  

This one is for my Multicultural Education class. For this assignment, we are to display (in some format or another) 3-4 artifacts from around the house that represent what has shaped us culturally. This has really taken a lot of thought. Sometimes it's easy to feel like I, a twenty-something white Mormon girl from Suburbia, don't have any sort of "culture". But technically, I do. Everyone does, really. My culture just might be "a twenty-something white Mormon girl from Suburbia". It's just like when people say that "Americans don't have accents".

Anyway, without further ado, I present....

Cultural Diorama of Amanda, the Singing Mormon Chef: a girl who slightly resents labels and hopes that you see her beyond what is shown in this Diorama.
*We were required to "label" ourselves for this assignment, but I really, really, really, really, really, really hope that you people think I'm more than that. I like to believe that I have the potential to be anything I want to be. These artifacts are merely a small sampling of what makes up me.

1. My Texas boot spoon-holder.

This represents two things for me. a) Texas, and b) cooking.

Much like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie who didn't identify as African until she left Africa, I didn't really identify as Texan until I left Texas. But being from there has really influenced who I am, and I'm sad to say that I didn't realize that until I left. I'm the absolute first person to speak up when Texas is mentioned, because I love being from there. I love the people, the diversity of faith, and the good manners of folks. I really value those things because of my growing up years there.

As far as cooking goes, I know that this isn't supposed to be a post just about "hobbies", but cooking has been SO much more to me than a little hobby. Growing up, cooking signaled family time. It was very important to my mother that we all learn how to cook, and I fell in love with it. My memories that are attached to food and the kitchen are inseparable from family memories, and therefore irreplaceable.

Living in Heritage Halls my freshman year, I discovered that cooking went way beyond a necessity and a social thing- it was my primary form of creative expression. I love music, and I'm happy that I am going to teach people about it, but I really feel more free to express myself through cooking than through any other medium. It's an art to me. 

2. My music corner.

This little corner represents a few things about me. Most obviously, I am a music education major, and I love music. Teaching is my passion, and music is the medium through which I have chosen to help people learn and grow. If it weren't for my music teachers growing up, I wouldn't have embraced life as fully as I have. I believe that music makes life worth living, and it is my dream to help others understand that.

I am also a horrible pianist, and the piano represents my dedication and strong sense of determination to grow and improve in the areas of my life that are hard. Though my piano skills are not awesome, and I question every day why they let me into the program, I won't let that stop me from improving anyway, darn it!!


3. My scriptures.

I don't think anything has shaped my life as much as the gospel of Jesus Christ has. Being a Mormon has been a huge part of my life for as long as I remember. I have friends from church growing up that have molded me into who I am, and (more importantly) experiences at EFY, girls camp, church, etc. that have helped me get on my own two feet and gain a testimony. Just like most people, I've had my struggles with my levels of faith & the gospel, but that hasn't stopped me from doing my best to have integrity and work hard to love God and His church.


4. My husband.

Okay, okay. Maybe this is cheating. Because Nick is a person, and not an object. 

*NOT TRYING TO OBJECTIFY MY HUSBAND HERE*. 

But he has shaped my life so fully and completely in the last three years that I have known the man. Some people think that marriage makes you completely warp into a "we" and lose the individual "me", but that has not been the case in my marriage. Nick has helped me be comfortable with who I am as a person, and has influenced me in becoming a stronger, more confident individual. Through this transformation, we have grown closer as a couple as well. 

Because of Nick, I believe in true love, loyalty, and the power of HARD WORK. Marriage is hard. But so, so worth it. I'm proud to claim my identity as a wife. 

And by golly, I love being married.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that this is "just for a school assignment", but I really hope that these "artifacts" are enlightening about who I am, what I believe, and what I value.

-  Amanda Ritter

Heeding to the Gamemaster

A brief introduction: I'm in my advanced writing class at BYU right now (Writing about the Humanities), and one of our recent assignments was to write a General Conference talk. I don't know if it was because I was still on a "spiritual high" from conference or what, but I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this assignment! And I am proud of what I wrote. So, I am going to post it here. 

Ready made blog post. Bam.

Heeding to the Gamemaster: A “Conference Talk” by Amanda Ritter

At the beginning of the school semester, I started a new job for a small local business in Provo, Utah called Getout Games. Getout Games hosts a series of live escape rooms: a unique, team-building, and innovative new activity that is quickly spreading across the world. In a nutshell, the people that come to these live escape rooms are locked into a room and have an hour to solve a series of puzzles, clues, locks, and codes inside of the room in order to escape the room and win the game.

My position at Getout games is that of a “Gamemaster”. When customers come in, it is my job to introduce them to the concept of a live escape room, explain the rules to them, lock them in the room, and provide guidance for them as they explore their environment and work out the clues. During the course of the game, I am able to watch the customers in a control room using a security camera. However, they are unable to see or hear me. I can only talk to them using short and somewhat cryptic messages that are broadcast to a screen inside of the escape room. The players of the game are entitled to four hints during their hour in the room, and are allowed to ask for a hint anytime they feel that they need one. We as the Gamemasters are also responsible for kindly prodding the players along as needed so that they can have the absolute best possible time when in the room.

During my first couple weeks as a Gamemaster, I had a peculiar and eye opening experience. While running a game for a group of college-age friends, I noticed that they were falling quite a bit behind schedule. If they didn’t hit certain checkpoints soon while exploring the room, their likelihood of escaping in time would decrease significantly. Of course, the room was still a mystery to them, so they had no way of knowing that this was the case.

As I had been trained to do, I typed a series of enigmatic message to the group to nudge them in the right direction and get them back on track. The messages appeared on their screen, and I was mildly surprised (and slightly amused) at their reaction. Some members of the team became annoyed, and even offended by my messages. One girl glared at the screen and very loudly declared, “We don’t need any help. I sure wish she would stop trying to tell us what to do! We are doing just fine on our own.”

When I heard the young woman say that, it made me chuckle a little bit. She had no idea how far off she was! I stepped back for a bit and let the group struggle on their own. Eventually, it became clear to the group that they really did need my assistance. Gladly, I returned to typing hints into the computer, and they were able to successfully win the game.

Later, I thought about the comment from the girl in the room, and the interesting experience she had in the game. I realized that it wasn’t all too unfamiliar from some experiences I’ve had in my life. 

When my husband Nick and I had been dating for a while, it got closer and closer to the point where we knew that we had a crucial, eternal decision to make: break up, or get married. For a 19 year old girl who had sworn off marriage until at least age 25, this reality was beyond daunting. Nick was much more open than I was, and was very graciously patient with me as I struggled with my pride.

During this time, the Lord provided obvious signs to us that it was time to get married. Deep down, I think I knew all along that this was true, but I let my arrogance get in the way for a very long while. What would my roommates think? My family? Would I lose friends if I got married to Nick? Did I seriously want to become a teenage bride? And did I really want to eternally give up privacy and personal space just for this guy that I was dating? These doubts consumed my mind, and I let confusion overrule my thoughts.

It took a while, but after a lot of prayer and fasting, I was eventually able to put my pride aside. Only then, I turned to prayer and humbly asked for counsel and guidance from the Lord. The signs that Heavenly Father had been trying to show me became clear, and I felt a sweet feeling of peace and reassurance that it really was time for us to get married. And so we moved forward with the help of Heavenly Father.

Everyone is faced with times where the only the Lord is able to see the path ahead. While we are on the earth, we are generally only able to see the past and present on our own. However, just like a Gamemaster, The Lord knows our entire plan, and is able to see the way ahead. He can see beyond what we are able to see. He knows what steps we need to take in order to achieve our divine destinies, and He wants to help us make it to the end with glory.  

Pertaining to the Liahona, Alma talks about heeding to the word of Christ as he speaks with his son Helaman in Alma 37.

44 For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.

45 And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.

Heavenly Father is there to help us. The Holy Ghost is there to communicate words of comfort and encouragement to us, and to guide us on the path that Heavenly Father needs us to take. While we are here on the earth, we have no idea what is ahead of us. It is only as we look behind that we are truly able to see God’s hand in our lives. I know that as we “give heed to the word of Christ”, we will be guided forward to our “eternal bliss”.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Halfway already?

So, they tell me that I'm already halfway through the semester, which boggles my mind a little bit. There's a large part of me that thinks these people are lying, but nope. The calendar doesn't lie. 

Wowie.

Anyway, a lot has happened in the last semester. 

A lot of BIG things, actually! I have a lot to be grateful for.

First off...

As you may recall, I quit my job at Independent Study at the end of the summer and began a two and a half-ish week long job hunt to find something new! I really didn't want to do mundane data entry work anymore, but wanted to find something 1) more teaching/career oriented, 2) people-oriented, and 3) personally satisfying. Some may say that my goals were a little lofty, but Nick and I felt good about moving forward with these things in mind.

After what seemed like HUNDREDS of resumes and cover letters and job interviews, I found myself with not one new job, but THREE. And these three are on top of my on-call consulting job (SCOT) that I already had (and still have) for BYU. 

So yeah... I have four jobs.

1. SCOT: I get to help BYU Professors improve their teaching. It's awesome, and I've learned so much about the teaching and learning process through this position, which is SO valuable career-wise.
2. Library Instruction Assistant: Basically, I get to help the Subject Librarians at the HBLL with teaching research strategies to BYU Students. And I also get to help students with research. Narrowing topics, finding articles, etc. It's actually incredibly fun. It's SO refreshing to have the chance to make a real difference in people's lives.
3. BYU Arts Bridge Program: Now THIS job is a kind of incredible. I get to work with a fourth grade classroom once a week in South Jordan integrating music into their regular curriculum. It's perfect for me. Fourth grade is SUCH a fun age to work with, and I'm thrilled to have the chance to do this. Oh! And I'm also blogging about it. Nothing is up yet, because I won't be in the class regularly until mid-November, but check again then for some songs about the Utah Mountain Men.
4. Getout Games: This job is off-campus (my first non-BYU job since living at home), and it's unlike anywhere I've ever worked, or ever will work. Getout Games is a local business here in Provo that features a series of live escape rooms... which is a completely new brain-bending phenomenon where we lock guests in a room for an hour, and they have to solve puzzles and codes to get out. It's really unlike anything anyone's ever seen before, and it's so much fun to see everyone's reactions when they come in. If you really want to see what it's all about, come visit me. I PROMISE you won't regret it. ;)

Anyway, I love all of my jobs. I'm doing my best to manage my time (using that huge grandma planner from my last post), and it's worked out so far. I've only forgotten a couple of assignments, haha. But nothing earth-shatteringly important, so I'll take that as a success. 

Beyond jobs...

My experience in the BYU School of Music has been very fulfilling this semester. 

First off, I've found myself suddenly a part of the BYU Singers. This is something that I've wanted to do since before coming to BYU, and it is a dream. come. true. to be in this elite group.

That's me!! In BYU Singers. Also, Nick totally took this photo. Dr. Crane (director) wanted a photographer for our retreat, and Nick did it!

I legitimately almost started crying on stage during our first concert because I WAS ON STAGE AS A BYU SINGER. I still can't believe they picked me. I feel beyond humbled to be in such an incredible group.

I'm ALSO doing my recital this semester! No matter how many recurring nightmares I have about me crying on stage, the recital is coming up FAST, ready or not.

Yay! 

But in all reality, I'm definitely excited. There's this inner 9 year old Amanda inside of me that still wants to be on Broadway and loves performing. As long as I let that inner child loose on stage, I think I will be jussst fine.

See?? I loved performing when I was little. I'm sure that's still in me somewhere.  And yes, mom, I logged into your shutterfly account.

Anyway. That about catches up where I am in life right now. 

Nick is SUPER busy with his capstone pitch right now. The official pitch is on Thursday, but he's been working really hard the last few weeks (months, really) to get everything in place for then. His dedication and perseverance is unlike any other college student I know. And on top of that, he's also doing freelance video & photography, project managing a video game for BYU, and regular old classes. I feel very lucky to be married to such a hardworking guy. I sure love him.

(Also, shameless plug for the capstone. If you want to buy a shirt to support it, click here.)

All is well with the Ritters. We're busy, but happy. Life is good. I can't complain.

-Amanda 

Mental Health Awareness Week

About three years ago, I came to BYU as a Freshman.

...which meant sudden, huge, exciting, and uprooting changes in my life. I went from living comfortably at home to being over a thousand miles from my family. I could no longer just breeze through classes (as I mostly did in high school), but had to spend late nights pouring over notes just to scrape B's. I met an entirely new crowd of people, and had a blast making new friends. 

I really was having the time of my life, and yet it was a lot of pressure all at once. My whole life I've been relatively prone to stress, so at first I just assumed it was nothing more than that. As the school year went on, and I dealt with the strain of college life, I began to become somewhat suspicious that my excessive proneness to worry and overly emotional tendencies were more than just personality quirks. But I brushed those thoughts aside, or worse, gave myself a hard time about it. I would feel guilty for being stressed, or assuming that I was somehow worse off than anyone else.

Somewhere during the first year of college, I was walking through the Wilkinson Student Center between classes, most likely in search of free food. That building always has something. 

(For example... free rice crispy treats at the beginning of this year! Thanks Women's Services.)

On that particular day, the promise of free BYU brownies caught my attention. I wandered into an office off of the main hallway to grab one, but found a catch- as usual. They always want something out of you... to sign up for hip hop club, or promise you'll come to a lacrosse game, or listen to a spiel from some visiting career counselor. This time, I had to fill out a mental health screening form. 

Admittedly, I filled mine out rather rapidly (yet still honestly), because I really only just wanted that brownie. In my untrained mind, I seriously doubted that I would be flagged for any sort of mental health concern. In retrospect, I think that mental health issues were kind of a taboo for me. Surely, the only people that had depression or anxiety or one of those thingy-s dressed in all black and looked like this:

So... boy, was I surprised when I was flagged for general anxiety disorder. And not only flagged. As I recall, I measured rather severely on the spectrum. This kind of alarmed me. My pride told me to not believe it. After the test, I was ushered into a side office to meet with a counselor-lady. She kindheartedly voiced her worries about my results, and presented me with a flyer on campus resources for stress management. I vaguely remember her surprised and concerned face as I sort of waved off the results, thanked her for the test, grabbed my brownie and swiftly left. I'm pretty sure I even called my mom and joked about my results.

Flash forward to now, and it's once again mental health screening day again at BYU. And, more broadly, it's Mental Health Awareness week.

This has really got me thinking about just how much I've learned and grown during the past three years. I've come to understand myself and my mental health approximately 324324% more than I ever did coming out of High School.

Recent Grad Amanda knows nothing about anxiety.

Maybe it's because I'm a teacher by nature, but I came to the conclusion recently that one of the best ways for me to improve is for me to reach out and help others. If I've talked to you about dealing with anxiety (and you people know who you are), please know that helping you with your fight has done wonders with me winning mine. 

I'm by NO means any sort of mental health expert or psychologist, but I've taken a lot of time during the past three years to research and understand what I and so many others deal with. Maybe it's not much, but I'm compiling a list of resources here that have helped me with my anxiety, and could maybe help someone else as well. Of course, everyone is different. Just because something works magically for me, does not mean that it works for everyone.

• First off, Russ Harris's book The Happiness Trap has done fantastic things for me. I never labeled myself as a "self-help book reader" until recently, but I'm finding that I really like the self-motivated format books like this give me. This book hits the issue of happiness SPOT on, and talks frankly about living a fulfilling life.

• The Happiness Trap falls under the umbrella of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which I have grown to LOVE. The principles of ACT work really well for me, and I've done a lot of research on ACT-based coping strategies. 

• Elder Holland's General Conference talk Like a Broken Vessel. I've never heard an LDS General Authority talk so openly and frankly about mental health. And a lot of what he talks about lines up pretty well with ACT. 
• "If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don't assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to 'stand still' or 'be still' —and wait. Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education."

• I've really gotten very lucky to have been dealing with this as a BYU student. The BYU Counseling and Psychological Center has been a HUGE blessing in my life. They provide free counseling to students, staff, & student spouses as well as biofeedback (my new favorite thing), and group therapy. Their website is also incredible and has everything from meditation recordings to mental health screenings.

• Meditation. And purposeful breathing. It does wonders.

• So this isn't really a "mental health" thing directly, but the Planner Pad has been wonderful for me planning ahead. I find that when I am able to think ahead some, my anxiety is GREATLY reduced. My old choir teacher Sister Hall swears by this planner, and she's probably the most put-together woman I've ever met. Definitely a good buy for someone like me.

• And lastly, I would also like to thank Pinterest for helping me stress-bake (Studies have shown that cooking can actually be used to reduce stress and anxiety in mental health patients!). And I'd also like to thank Nick for eating the food I make. Because there's always a lot, and I'm not really a stress-eater.

Anyway. Those are just a few things I've found that have worked so well for me. But be aware: dealing with anxiety & depression is largely a game of trial and error. It's different for every single person that goes through mental health challenges.

And I'm always there to chat. The number of people who deal with this kind of thing is really common. You are not alone.

I'm thankful for my husband, who has helped me see that I am not my anxiety, and has helped me find how to use anxiety as my superpower. I'm thankful for the progress I've made. I'm thankful for a loving Savior and Heavenly Father who see me not as who I am, or who I was, but who I can become. And I'm thankful for the future. 

Here's to looking up. 


- Amanda 

Where Did Summer Go?

Seventeen weeks down, and only one more to go.

What on earth? Didn't we just start summer? Wasn't it just last week that I was planting my ill-fated herb garden? And wasn't it just days ago that we were in Disneyland?

Summer always goes by way too quickly. I'll be in class exactly a week from now. I'm doing everything I can to be "prepared" for the new school year; buying textbooks & new binders, spending a few hours in the practice rooms trying to get my voice rapidly whipped back into shape before choir auditions, scheduling every last hour of next week into my new planner, and trying not to worry about all the things I didn't get around to doing this summer... of which there are a lot.

This isn't to say that I *didn't* do a lot this summer, though, because I did... even since I last posted...

Anniversary weekend.

Dino Museum and Thanksgiving Point.

Littlest brother on BYU campus with me.

South Fork Park

Rexburg

We were the fun car to road trip with, I think.

Old Faithful

First time EVER doing sparklers.

Possible carpal tunnel! D:

Lowe's.

A belt in our car decided to escape without warning... hooray...

Thankful for good friends. 

We've been busy!! 

We spent a lot of our summer with family and friends- both in and out of town. These last three weeks of summer we have all to ourselves, and it's been a good way to get ourselves ready to launch back into school again. I'll be starting my Practicum classes, and Nick will be doing his film capstone project. I'm so proud of him. He's worked hard to get here, and there is some good stuff that will be coming from Nick Ritter in the next few months. He's actually been really busy this summer with a program he helped organize called Six Week Cinema. We're looking forward to a film festival for Six Week at the start of September.

I love being married to a film guy. It's a blast.

Ah- one last thing! My life is starting a brand new era as I am no longer an employee at BYU Independent Study. I was there for a full three years as a Data Entry Specialist, and my last day was over a week ago now.

My time there was really great. It's full of dozens of memories that I won't ever forget. Moving on is bizarre, but it's the right thing for me right now. The future feels limitless (and a little intimidating). I'm excited to discover what's in store for me.

I've spent the last week applying for dozens of jobs, interviewing like crazy, cleaning my apartment, and preparing for school to start. This "break" has been awesome for me. It's been a while since I've been able to feel like I'm doing things for myself- things to make me happy for me. I think Heavenly Father really knew that I needed this breather before hopping back to BYU. It's so important to take care of yourself mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. I've been learning this a lot this summer, and hopefully improving because of my findings.

I'm excited for school, I think. Nervous. But excited. I've found that I'm a LOT happier being busy than I am being lazy.

I guess it's a good thing, then, that I'm about to become VERY busy.